I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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