So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Randomize
