My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize