You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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