i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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