Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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