I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
