their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
this beer tastes like vomit already
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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