So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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