so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
