Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
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He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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