I hope mine doesn't look like that
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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