You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
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On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
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If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My life is pants optional.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize