How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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