Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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