Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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