I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
