How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
