Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
