need another drink. this is the easiest way
i love accidental penises.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize