I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
