i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
