Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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