i just wanna soil my oats bro
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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