Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
