i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize