I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
