her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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