She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize