Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
