youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
