chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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