I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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