i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
