someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
