You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
