I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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