I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I lost the right to judge tonight
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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