Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I think a kid would responsible me up
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I am naked and annoyed.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
