mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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