is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
