just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
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This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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