I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
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she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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