I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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