I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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