last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize