just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You were trust falling into bushes
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
