I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize