I wish I could punch you in the face.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
i now understand why vodka
my liver is dry heaving
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
