Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
