? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
