I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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