On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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