this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
