Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
