No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
