hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
