dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
