Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm at about main and main street
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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