I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Your cock deserves a montage
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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