I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Found the puke drawer
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
