There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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